Christmas is here, and my heart's fluttering again. Not that I'm excited for Christmas, or a fat man with a white beard coming down my chimney secretly placing gifts in my living room. Heh. I don't even have a chimney. What comes after Christmas is what I'm looking forward to. But meh more on that later.

As a child, Christmas always got me excited. Not that I celebrated it or anything, heavens no. The decorations. The preparations. The beauty of it all.

I can already picture it. Dad driving us home from Wal-Mart in that white van of ours, a younger version of myself glued to the window, the mesmerizing flourescents, sparkling Santas on sleighs, signboards with bold HOHOHO's, mistletoes hanging at every door, the white snow. Me admiring everything, taking every inch of detail and saving it in my memory, not wanting the ride to be over.

The beauty of it all, how is it possible for me to forget such a scene?

I miss it. Every single bit of it.

Waking up to a frosty scenery. The smell of snow. The excitement to build snowmen. Blowing raspberries and being able to see my breath. Calling everyone else Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, when I was the one with a nose redder than a cherry. Lakes turned into ice. Burying my face in the scarf over my neck. Celebrating my birthday in a sweater with the view of snowflakes falling outside my window. The cold playgrounds. Being surrounded by trees without leaves, animals hibernating, a white blanket of snow shielding all the green grass. Making snowmen and putting olives and carrots on them, naming them anything but Frosty, because that name never seemed right. Lying on the ground making snow angels and snowfights and hiding behind pathetic snowforts. Running back inside because my siblings and I couldn't take the cold, cold, snow. A warm greeting from Mom and hot chocolate and TV shows and Christmas specials. Going back outside to play in the snow, repeating the cycle. Repeating it a million times until dark. Repeating it a million times the next day, getting lost in time. Lost in cold, cold December forever.